Skyler ~

… for those whom I grieve:

For the sake of …
In the name of …
The benevolent anguish, a glove-fit cross my heart heaving heavy just beyond the weightless.
Riding your last breath still, its aftermath carries me,
pressed to the memory of your form leaning into mine with all courageous vulnerability ~
pushing out my edges ‘til shape itself, past its limits, dissolves in such a soft “us” explosion. I could not solve the defining blur of your drowning – what you left unspoken, fully expressed in the sacred space of what’s now lost – the waterline, that old tide’s push pulls the influx of the all-soul in constant tension ~

consolation dances in desolation’s long, greedy arms while
for a while longer on and on without you on
too long - around the bereft ache moving gingerly – eggshell 2 step

since you left, every sound and color muted by one bright octave – whatever in the here and now illuminates your phantom – your residual light, your singular gaze point everywhere all at once ~ I do not ask where you are if you are now - I don’t want the question in my heart as it drops
down, arching back in long arcs towards clarity.

So, as it is, as i am now,
your absence is my precious, constant companion. precious. constant.

Gratitude rarified, is a form of joy - grief’s depths are thankful – I am tossed through the grace of your once-ness ~
anguish epitaphs raw stillness for your simple, subtle, profound cadence.
Whatever all this is, the good in it, it is yours.
However I failed is mine, unjudged.
Thank you. Thank you.
You are so loved.