4

it is just this: the absurdity in free floating anguish
and bereft paralysis -barbed wire wrapped
through my belly and chest and throat. if i move, it will shift and dig,
if i don't, it will spread.

when something situational is wrong, it is there -
when absolutely nothing is wrong, it is there. the worst question
at a bad time: why? pinwheel thoughts - too many of them and voices
that aren't mine.

and there are things I have learned to do that will help.
don't think just do them they will help.

but there it will still be - waiting and rhythmed to rise again -
a cold planet that takes the sky. mostly, i've learned to just keep
doing the helpful things and generate my own idea of warmth.

such an isolated words - when it is appropriate, there's no energy
to say it - and it is very private - it is all skin but cannot feel touch.